The scene opened with Zack Ryder and Trent Barreta stood outside a building in Brooklyn. It was late and the run down street was dimly lit. Ryder was wearing a New York Knicks jersey, a Yankees cap (on backwards), baggy jean shorts and a big purple and gold “Z” around his neck. He did not seem comfortable in such attire.
Zack Ryder: Are you sure about this, Trenty? I look like a tanned John Cena.
Trent was standing next to Zack, wearing a FUBU Jersey probably three times bigger than his size. A Blue durag tied up tightly around his head, cornrows falling behind his ears and big ass white slotted sunglasses like Kanye west’s. Around his neck, a good 10 pounds of chains. He smiled enthusiastically.
Trent Barreta: CHEEEEEEA!
Zack looked up at Trent’s cornrows and shook his head.
Zack Ryder: This isn’t like playing Grand Theft Auto, bro. If we die, we don’t end up at the nearest hospital with half our money gone...
Trent pouted his lips and lowered the glasses off the bridge of his nose darting his eyes up at Zack.
Trent Barreta: What choo talkin’ ‘bout Willis? Look... I know this is serious shizzle for dizzle man. I’ve gone back and forth with this VHS, VCR, NES... What’s his name again?
Zack Ryder: JTG... don’t ask me what it stands for. And don’t forget we have to deal with R-Truth.
Trent nodded a couple of times.
Trent Barreta: Hell knows what JTG stands for man... What I’m trying to do here is to get inside their heads, although I’m not quite sure I want to get in no head full of spiders! Ewww ewww ewww! You know it! And we won’t die, trust me! We are going to do this thingy right here and it’s gonna be Ballin’! Wait... That’s the wrong phrase right?
Zack Ryder: MVP, JTG... it’s easy to get mixed up bro. But now we’re in Brooklyn, what’s the plan? I’m the Long Island Iced Z, I’m too busy getting Zacked to spend time in the hood. The sooner I get back to the LI, the better. The longer we hang out here, the more chance we have of getting mugged!
Trent Barreta: True that, bro. We need to do this thing. And fast.
Trent turned his attention to the camera man.
Trent Barreta: Hey Zack, relax... In case of a drive by or a shoot off we can run faster than this guy who is carrying the camera... So! Our mythical quest for the long lost treasure of the EBWF... The tag titles begins today! For eons, the EBWF has enjoyed countless amounts of Tag Teams gracing the presence of EBWF rings and making EBWF fans’ eyeballs to pop out of their orbits with amazing matches, rivalries and whatnot! We’ve seen Londrick, Punk and Raven, The ThrillSeekers... I could stick around all day naming them, but we don’t want to get mugged... Right? Now, in a distant future from this tag team perfect dimension I just described, the tag titles are nothing but a joke... They’re tossed around, dropped, hurled, thrown in the garbage... Hell! I could swear I saw Wes Ikeda wearing one to buckle up his pants the other day! What a sad story... What a sad ending for such a prestigious treasure! But we are here to fix that.
Zack nodded.
Zack Ryder: Remember bro, you’re speaking to the guy that became one of the youngest Tag Team Champions in history! You and I both know a thing or two about tag teams, except now we won’t be held back by the likes of Curt Hawkins and Caylen Croft. It’s time for a new era... the era of BarRyder! And it starts this Monday on Warfare.
Trent Barreta: What happens when you sum up the two better halves of extremely successful tag teams? What happens when you take the Long Island Iced Z and the Gaming ace, mash them up together? Kicks in the butt to Darth Curtious and that dude who always stole lifes from me on Contra, Caylen Croft?
Zack Ryder: I’ll tell you what happens, Trenty. We end up in Brooklyn looking ridiculous. But after that... we beat JTG and R-Truth and start our own undefeated streak. And after that... we challenge Wade Barrett and Sheamus, become the NEW Tag Team Champions and restore some pride to those shiny gold belts. Now does that sound like a plan or does that sound like a plan?
Ryder extended his fist to Trent, waiting for a fistbump.
Trent removed his sunglasses, his eyes fixed on Zack Ryder’s fist... A smile slowly curved up on his lips, from ear to ear. He pointed to his fist in disbelief...
Trent Barreta: T-t-that... T-that is... Oh. My. God. ARE YOU SERIOUS BRO?
Trent smiled and tossed his sunglasses over his shoulder.
Trent Barreta: Because you see people, all this charade you’re seeing here. Coming to Brooklyn, standing in the middle of a lonely street at night, before a tall ass business like sitting ducks is nothing, NOTHING, compared to what we have in store for JTG and R-Truth and the EBWF tag team division, in that order! All of these clothes, all of this... craptolla! It doesn’t intimidate us! You see us before the camera and you see two guys dressed like losers... We’ve dressed like this once! JTG and Truth dress like this every freaking day! We don’t need no swag, we don’t need no chains! You say Spiders? I say bug catching net!!! Booyah!!!! And that fist over there, that fist that has been extended to me, means the beginning of a era!!!!!
Trent reached out and fistbumped Zack with his own fist... Soon after the fistbump he pulled his hand back -Due to the massive amount of cool energy- and opened his palm with a ferocious dolby 5.1 explosion sound (alright, that might be Trenty’s mouth). Ryder removed the big Z chain from around his neck and then threw his Knicks jersey onto the ground, revealing a Statue of LiBROty t-shirt underneath. He looked into the camera and picked up where Trent had left off.
Zack Ryder: JTG, Truth... you might think Trenty and I are a couple of jokers, but you’d better take us seriously on Warfare. Neither one of you have accomplished anything in EBWF, but my broski Trent here is the Breakout Champion. He won that title at WrestleMania in a match with me and Curt Hawkins. We opened the biggest pay-per-view of the year while neither one of you made it onto the card. Truth, you were dumped in the dark match and JTG, I don’t even know if you were in St. Louis! I may not have won at WrestleMania but I am still the Internet Champion and there are hundreds of thousands of broskis behind the Ryder Revolution. Not to mention, this is the second week in a row I’m main eventing Warfare! Last week I stood toe to toe with Chris Jericho. This week, I’ll go one better and walk out a winner. Woo woo woo! You know it.
Trent folded his arms and nodded a couple of times, slowly removing his FUBU ugly big jersey, tossing it to the ground, along with the chains. Underneath he naturally had nothing... He removed the durag from his head and turned to Zack, rubbing his own arms as his naked torso shook from the windy night.
Trent Barreta: Damn I’m cold man! Let’s get the hell outta here... Can you help me undo my cornrows?
Zack Ryder: Not in public, Trent... we’ll give people the wrong impression! Wait until we get back to the hotel. Taxi!
A yellow cab pulled up and Trent and Zack got inside. The cameraman tried to get in with them but the cab drove away before he could do so. As the cameraman filmed the cab driving into the distance, two young gangstas walked towards the camera. The cameraman let out a shriek as the scene faded.
Monday, April 16th 2012 - Joe Louis Arena - Detroit, MI.
The scene faded from black to show the EBWF Breakout champion, Trent Barreta with his belt wrapped around his waist... His eyes and attention turned down to his Sony PSPVita. Tongue sticking out, a grunt escaping his mouth from time to time, eventually he would run into the Coach.
Jonathan Coachman: Excuse me... Trent?
Trent Barreta: Uhh... Hmm... Jump! Jump! What?
Jonathan Coachman: May I have a word with you?
Trent Barreta: Yeah... Yeah... Slide! Slide!
Jonathan Coachman: Trent, are you ready for your first ever Tag team match since you returned to the EBWF?
Trent Barreta: Sure... I'm... Really... Shoot! Shoot! SHOOT! What was it again?
Jonathan Coachman: Are you ready for your first ever Tag team...
Trent Barreta: Oh yeah... Sure... Ready!
Jonathan Coachman: Trent?
Trent Barreta: Yeah? Ughhh... I died!
Jonathan Coachman: I'm trying to conduct an interview and all you can think is Videogames?
Coachman reached out to grab the PSPVita from Trent, pushing it down to the floor by mistake.
Trent Barreta: Wow man, there was no need to do that...
Jonathan Coachman: Look, I had enough of you playing videogames and...
Trent Barreta: He's going to be really pissed...
Jonathan Coachman: Who?
Trent Barreta: The PSP owner...
Jonathan Coachman: I thought it was yours.
The Big O: It's MINE!!!!!!
NYWC and Zack's good buddy the big O appeared behind Trent, towering over him and looking menacingly at Coachman.
Trent Barreta: Have you met the big O? Bro, thanks for lending me your PSP but I gotta work.
The Big O reached down to pick his PSP, checking it thoroughly before nodding.
The Big O: Ok, take care... And You!
He extended one big, veiny and muscled biceps to Coachman. Jonathan Coachman gulped.
The Big O: STAY OUT OF MY O-ZONE.
The stomped his feet on his way out of the scene, Coachman looked relieved.
Jonathan Coachman: So, are you ready to do this or not?
Trent Barreta: I concur with you whole heartedly my African american brother. Anyway, I would love to know how are the cavernous bodies of your phallus and testicular sac particulary positioned inside your pants tonight?
Jonathan Coachman: Excuse me?
Trent Barreta: Are you surprised? That's Swaggish for: Fo' Shizzle ma' dizzle. How is it hangin'?
Trent reached out of the scene and pulled out a big white book that read "SWAGTIONARY".
Trent Barreta: Introducing the Swagtionary! And no, this is not a method to help Jack Swagger lose his lips. Have you ever felt the pain of being unable to communicate or understand those with lesser IQ? Well those days are far from over with the Swagtionary! You see Coachman, this invention of mine will help me deliver a message to my opponents for tonight, the ones I'm facing along the Internet Champion, Zack Ryder... JTG and R-Truth have formed up a brand new tag team, apparently it us full of Swag and Spiders, but I'm not really amazed... Do you know the best part about spiders?
Jonathan Coachman predicted Trent would come up with a nerdy reply but still shook his head.
Trent Barreta: You know Spiders aren't as bad as Truth thinks they are... I mean, to this very day I am waiting to be bitten by a radioactive spider to become your friendly neighborhood spider-man! On a side note, villain spiders aren't hard to beat... in Zelda: Ocarina of time, I quickly dispose of the first dungeon's spider with my slingshot and a few deku sticks... So if I'm not afraid of spiders and can squash them with ease I am already better than R-Truth huh?
Jonathan Coachman: What about Little Jimmy?
Trent Barreta: Little Jimmy is a great guy, he had us over last week at his place, we had some beers and played "Drinking Games for gamers" Until I coughed up my liver...
The Coach looked in disbelief at Trent.
Jonathan Coachman: You know little Jimmy?
Trent Barreta: No I don't, I made that up... Except for the beers and drinking games part. I don't think Little Jimmy even exists, I think someone as delusional as Mr. Truth would be better off at a looneybird hizzous. CHEAAAAAA
Jonathan Coachman: Come again?
Trent Barreta: Swagtionary, african american brother! Buy it.. A looney house, an institution for the mentally impaired. Specially if you're coming near JTG or Truth. Now, Imma 'bout to deliver a message to JTG... YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO!!!! Do you think that's enough Yo's?
He turned towards the Coach who shrugged.
Trent Barreta: JTG and I have had a few matches in the past and sure he had caught me off guard once in a match which technically I didn't win, but which I didn't lose either... That single, sole loss in my otherwise perfect record is thanks to JTG... But if you see where he is now and where I am... You'll notice I won the match that counts, my fellow african american brother. I don't know and I don't care where you are... But I can tell you where I am right now... Standing on top of the world, with my EBWF Breakout championship belt, a whole bunch of level 100 pokemon... I could rant on all day long about mu countless achievements but I'll better let do my wrestling do all the talking... So yeah, they wind up to beat the Undertaker, big deal. I had to face 6 other men in an over the top rope battle royal, one of them being one of my best friends... Anyone can toss an overgrown biker/zombie around in a ring... But I'd like to see you beating your own friend in a match; a match which you want him to win!
Trent smiled.
Trent Barreta: Now my fellow african american brothers have banded up and want to take the EBWF tag titles? They've never tagged with each other before -At least before a camera on live TV and with the same set of rules me and Zack play by- While Zack and I have known each other for years! We live and breathe this business... The Tag Team titles are our principal goal as well, and we don't mind quickly beating you to prove our point... You know something Coach? I would love to be the EBWF Tag team champion along with Zack Ryder, a title I've already held in the past... Beating none other than John Freakin' Cena and his partner! You woulnd't believe me if I told you, but the first time I picked up that title and raised it above my head, I smiled widely and a sound chimed inside my head... TA-DA-DA-DAAAAA!!!!! That same sound will chime inside my head when the ref raises our hands after we win! How are we going to win? Well we've known each other for so damn long it's hard to come up with just one way of beating him... We have the dudebusting bomb, the Broski boot, the shinning Barreta... We'll just follow our hearts...
Trent smiled a little and looked up.
Trent Barreta: Coach, have you ever played Zelda?
Jonathan Coachman: No.
Trent seemed thrown off by the interviewer's reply.
Trent Barreta: Alright, this interview is officially over now.
Trent turned around and walked away from the Coach as the scene faded to black.