A wooden shelf. Rows and rows... AND Rows of video game cartridges. Marvel action figures carefully placed on shelves, EBWF action figures carefully placed on another shelf nearby. vintage Zelda, Metroid and Duck Hunt NES posters on the walls (If by now you haven't guessed who owns this locker room, allow me to redirect you to the title of this website *Points to the top.*). Trent Barreta appeared on screen for a minor positive reaction from the crowd, dressed in an 8bit EBWF Trentylocks T-shirt, and sporting a very many beard. Being shot from the waist up didn't allow the EBWF universe to see the rest of his attire... He walked back and forth slowly, looking a tad thoughtful. Was he trying to solve that Angry birds puzzle? Was he waiting for a friend to reply on DrawSomething? We'd never know... The doorknob of his locker room turned clockwise and the door was pushed open. Wearing a black jacket with a chalk colored shirt and black pants, Matt Striker walked in with a microphone in his hand. Trent took a step back.
Trent Barreta: AHHHH! THE TEACHER. Look man... I did my homework and I haven't been looking up girl's skirts -without their permission-, so you can't give me detention!
Matt Striker: What? No. Trent... I'm here to Interview you!
Trent Barreta: Ohhhhh, good. So no one know I was the one who threw the fireworks inside the girl's toilet?
Matt Striker: You what?
Trent Barreta: Errr... Interview Time! Ask, ask away my meddling former teacher, slash ring announcer, slash friend, slash not really. Ask away and your questions might get answered, like in the good old days when you were a teacher... There's a catch, though. You can only ask one thing...
Matt Striker: One thing?
Trent Barreta: Yup. Aaaaand that's a wrap... Thanks for coming Striker.
Trent turned his back to Striker.
Matt Striker: ...
Trent turned and smiled, running a hand along his manly beard.
Trent Barreta: You should've seen the look on your face.
Matt Striker: So Trent, you seemed a little worried when I first came in... Are you feeling uneasy? Tonight you'll be facing a new team in EBWF, the team of "The All American American" Jack Swagger and the Show Off "Dolph Ziggler", a team probably ready to make an impact in the Tag team division.
Trent Barreta: To answer your questions in specific order... No I am not worried or scared, I was thoughtful, I was just thinking how hilarious this whole match is going to be for me and those two, Zaggler and Swigger.
Matt Striker: Ziggler and Swagger.
Trent Barreta: That's what I said.
Matt Striker: Hilarious? Excuse me, but how is facing two very experienced and talented superstars is hilarious?
Trent Barreta: They're talented, Swagger is bigger than me, they're technically gifted... But I'm sure they're feeling their world crumbles apart since they signed in the dotted line of their EBWF contracts. I'll bet my "Legend of Zelda" golden NES cartridge they are feeling in the Twilight Zone right now...
The Twilight Zone theme suddenly began playing, Striker looked up for the source of the sound... Was it really happening? Or was he hearing music on his head? Barreta reached up for his cellphone, the source of the music and ignored the call.
Trent Barreta: Sorry about that. So yeah... Twilight zone. Now before you ask "Trent, why twilight zone"... Lights please...
The lights of the room dimmed slowly, it was promo time. Trent cleared his throat and snatched the microphone away from Matt Striker.
Trent Barreta: Human beings have a constant need for awards. Awards and achievements traduce into respect, fame and fortune... Or so they say. Ever since school, society is designed as a competition. It is all about grade rankings, about picking up women, about sport trophies and achievements... Even my beloved universe of gaming has been thwarted by evil achievements and meaningless trophies. People get infected by this virus... This desire to be awarded for things that are socially convenient... Highest grades, longest pass, most touchdowns scored, most penalties saved, most three pointers... Throughout high school and college. They get kicked into the real world and what are they going to brag about now? Finishing their work first? Arriving first to work? Being the fastest lawnmowers on the block? Of course not... Instead of looking for new horizons... They glorify their past: Oh I was a quarterback, I did this, I did that... Back in high school. Boy, even those who didn't do anything meaningful during high school and desperately wanted to, they just make stories up... How sad, the need for social approval and social convention...
The lights went on, even brighter than before, probably to highlight the background of the room, full of Trent's stuff.
Trent Barreta: This is me. It always has been me. I played video games before achievements were cool... Ouch, did I just pull a hipster phrase? Sorry. Anyway, Videogames weren't about achievements until recently... I am probably not known for my ability for kicking balls, catching passes or picking women up... But in EBWF I have been making quite a name for myself in the past months... So I hear these two bragging about their amateur wrestling achievements and I can't help it but to laugh out loud. L. O. L...
Trent looked straight into the camera.
Trent Barreta: Do you boys want to brag? About the times you wrestled in a Rick Steiner outfit and outwrestled your whole class and the teacher? About how you excelled at sports and thus had a scholarship? Do you guys really want to brag?
Trent knelt, slowly, steadily disappearing from the camera frame, his head would come up again a few seconds later. He stood up back again slowly, having both of his titles on each hand... His Triforce Breakout title on the right hand, EBWF Tag team championship on the left hand. He held them up proudly over his head, before resting them on his shoulders.
Trent Barreta: BOOYAAAH. BOO. YAAH. They had probably shot themselves in the head right now. That's right... I am a double champion here, and not only that... I haven't been pinned since my debut here. I'll drop the bomb now... I was never in any varsity team, I was never a prom king, nor a player with the ladies... Yet, here in EBWF I am better than you. These belts make it a FACT.
Trent smiled, looking at his two babies.
Trent Barreta: Back in high school, society is conveniently divided in three. The minority of people who are prom kings, stars of varisity teams, sleeping and boinking cheerleaders... Another group thrives with the idea of being a prom king and a sports star, but will never make it... The last group consists of people who just don't give a damn about the other two groups. Have you guessed by now which group was I part of? If you haven't I have homework for you, no pun intended Matt Striker, by the way, here's your mic, do you thing...
Trent handed the mic back to Matt Striker.
Trent Barreta: So, as I was saying... If you want to guess what group was I in back in high school, if you want to confirm everything I've said about my tenure here in EBWF check out Youtube Channel, we do have one right?
Trent asked at the camera, an inaudible reply caused a smile on his face.
Trent Barreta: We do? Before Vince? Cool... So, check me out there. Anyway, back to you Matt Striker.
Matt Striker: Thanks? So... You clearly exceed them in Tag Team Experience and Chemistry... But you can't deny they're outstanding singles competitors.
Trent Barreta: Yes. Zack and I have wrestled with each other since we were little kids, we've been through thick and thin together and we know how to work the tag team matches, we're always pulling moves and victories out of nowhere... When not teaming up with each other, we have been successful halves of tag teams, Tag teams which have held gold... After Assembling -Avengers pun totally intended.- an awesome tag team... We became the poster boys of the Tag team division. You know? I'm glad Wes is turning the competition up a notch by bringing teams like Ziggler and Swagger... But they have to know their place. Not because we have won a gazillion amateur matches... But because we earned these belts. Now, if it were for achievements outside of EBWF, my whole video game collection should have me sitting on Mr. Ikeda's chair, calling the shots... But that's how jocks thing. Now, to answer your question... Swagger for example. He's bigger than me, but we all know I can match up against bigger guys right? Otherwise I wouldn't be Breakout champion by now... He's patriotic? Yadda Yadda... You know Matt, the only Patriot I firmly believe in is Captain Steve Rogers...
Striker looked puzzled, not getting the Captain America reference.
Trent Barreta: Swagger's got white, red and blue on his Rick Steiner trunks... That's about it. No super soldier serum for him, no kicking red skull's ass... He can repeat it all day: He is the All American American... But Captain Rogers is like the All AmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericanAmericannnnn...
He gasped for air, then smiled; hoping he made his point clear. He then saluted Captain America, wherever he was, before turning to an even more puzzled Matt Striker.
Trent Barreta: And Mr. Ass... Errrrrr Dolph. Has he already said I'm a nerd with no friends who still lives in his mom's basement?
Matt nodded.
Trent Barreta: Typical... Typical. It is a bit audacious of him to call me a friendless nerd living in an older woman's basement when he hung out a good couple of years with Vickie Guerrero, probably chained on her basement, only let out for her to walk him and little Jack to the park when it was potty time right? Right. Dolph can repeat I am a nerd and a loser all day long... It's not going to change damn thing... No matter the outcome of the match I will sit and continue playing Videogames, hopefully accompanied by the beautiful AJ... Win or Lose, at the end of the day I am going to be that nerdy kid who you thought would be underneath you through your whole life... You know Matt I sense a little resentment from the two peroxide jocks? Poor them. They were taught through the whole life how being a jock was good, how it was going to take them to being popular with girls, college, fame and fortune... They sign these EBWF contracts and hope the world to be at their feet, only to find out a NERD is calling the shots. -Whoops, sorry for the N word Jocks!-. It might really be unpleasant for them, but this is life... Taking into account they are the brand new tag team and they have got some talent, the chances we meet up again in the PPV are high... Hence why tonight Zack and I, we need to make ourselves clear against these two... We aren't gifted technicians or college wrestling prowesses precisely, but we know how to get the job done... And we will. Zack and I are ready...
Matt Striker: Speak of the devil... Where is Zack?
Trent Barreta: Zack went undercover on a stealth mission, he went to someone who can debrief us on our opponents and their sweet spots... Chances are he might be right now in a pickle, taking into account our contact is a bit of a cougar, but He'll make it here on time, with the information and ready for our match... They better be ready, because this nerd isn't impressed by sport achievements, and I highly doubt their video gaming achievements are better than mine...
