Sunday, May 27, 2012

Why a Colt when you can have a Revolver?

Podcast #1: The Art of Gaming.

Trent Barreta: Hello there Trentheads! Trenton here trying to homage -backslash- make fun of -backslash- rip off my upcoming opponent in EBWF's death before Dishonor... Mr. Colt Cabana. Gaming is truly and art isn't it? Lots and lots of pixels, programming codes which used to give us two bars and a ball doing Ping... Pong... Ping... Pong now give us High Definition Universes to mess around with! But out of all my favorite universes, even over the Marvel Universe is the EBWF Universe. You guys know I love the EBWF Universe and to be relevant in the EBWF you have to keep reinventing yourself... So this is me, giving a try to the podcast thingy... I wanted to have a special guest tonight. The Rock turned me down... So for you indy wrestling heads, allow me to introduce you to a man that has been able to reinvent himself over time... Joker.

Joker: Hey Trent, it's an honor to be in your Podcast, I'd really like it if you signed my NES cartridgee after we're done.

Trent Barreta: Good to have you here Mr. J! For those of you who don't know Mr. J He is an escapee from Arkham Asylum.

The sound of a Joker Laughter echoed in the back.

Trent Barreta: In all seriousness... Funny to say that when your guest is called Joker. Joker is well known for portraying a... Natural and hairier version of my opponent at Death Before Dishonor... I'm speaking about Colt Cabunny, one half of Team WWF (World Wildlife Fund). I know you probably get asked a million times this... But why Colt Cabunny and not some Walrus Hogan?

Joker: I always liked Colt. It wasn't a shoot or anything at him... One night we were hanging out with Necro Butcher and decided to go along with the Team WWF gimmick, fans realy grew fond of it and those were my 5 minutes of fame... Which got me to this show!

Trent Barreta: Essencially... So I guess I have to scratch out the possibility of having Colt Cabunny in my Corner to mock the Real Colt?

Joker: Absolutely, I have a lot of respect for the guy.

Trent Barreta: Are you a big follower?

Joker: Yeah... I'm very happy he gets his revenge on an american promotion, we all know how that Scotty Goldman crap ended up... And trust me, no one wants to wrestle for a small taped show done by MTV. You could say I really marked out when he came back to stand up for his friend CM Punk against John Cena.

Trent Barreta: The bastard.

Joker: You could say If CP Munk was in the same pickle, Colt Cabunny would no doubts about it stand up for his team WWF buddy!

Trent Barreta: I'm glad you have been following his career in EBWF.

Joker: I'm glad they finally gave him the treatment he deserves... He came in with a bang! He won that number one contendorship for the Breakout title and he got into his second PPV after 4 weeks of contract.

Trent Barreta: Yeah, and you could say he isn't really breakout because he's had a few shots before... But it would be unfair, don't you agree? I guess he makes a good definition of a Breakout superstar.

Joker: How are you feeling about the match?

Trent Barreta: Well Joker, I am really excited to meet a man with such a love for the business in that ring, get to work with him and what not. Rest assured that everything we do on Sunday at Death Before Dishonor will be for the fans... We're now both on the good side of the fans, so it will be a "Who cheers louder situation".

Joker: Can you get me a ticket?

Trent Barreta: Aaaaaaand our time in this first "Art of Gaming" PodCast is over... Thanks for coming.

Joker: ...

Trent Barreta: Had you for a moment! Do you know how fun it is for me to just cut a promo about anything I wanted? I think that is what makes the EBWF a better place than most other Wrestling Companies out there... Sure, innovative promos have usually gone the wrong way... Like when the Rock Allowed Vince McMahon into a live EBWF the same night he lost to Wes Ikeda before SummerSlam.

Joker: Weren't there any tiny version  who looked similar to the former boss?

Trent Barreta: I don't know... I have heard hiring small people can be really hard!

Joker: And it is kind of heel-ish so I wouldn't recommend it.

Trent Barreta: Joker, thanks for dropping by! Thanks for sharing a thought or two with me and definitely thanks for screwing up my plans of bringing Colt Cabunny to have fun with him live with the EBWF fans... Guys, blame it on him if my time on the microphone at Death Before Dishonor is craptollah...

Joker: Thanks for having me Trent and I wish you the best on your future endeavors... With this show!




Sunday May 27th, 2012 - Honda Center. Anaheim, California.

The lights dimmed slowly on the arena and the fans looked everywhere to see what was about to happen. Pyrotechnics went off from both sides of the ramp and the EBWFTron lit up to display the following:



Trent "The Ace" Barreta walked out from behind the curtain with the Triforce Breakout championship over his shoulders, a smile from ear to ear as he sprinted to the ring, sliding in and jumping on top of the nearest turnbuckle to mouth out the words "What up!". He jumped off and placed the belt over his shoulder, he got handed a microphone and pulled it closer to his mouth as his brand new music theme faded.

Trent Barreta: Wow... These days have been really crazy! I got to speak with Lance Storm! I got to hang out in the studio with Wes Ikeda, too! I drummed throughout the whole week to get this sweet piece of music you just heard... Let's hope we get it upload it to iTunes soon so you can enjoy Wes Ikeda's face melter solo right in the middle of the song. It is that time of the month where I have to do what I do best and that is... Kick butt. I really, really hope every single guy in the back who has even considered coming for my belt watches this upcoming match... Bully Ray and Curt Hawkins included! Because tonight I'm here and I mean business... Spider Sense Tingling!

Trent smiled a little as a few geeky guys from the crowd cheered.

Trent Barreta: Colt Daddy. Matt Classic. Scotty Goldman... If neither of those names ring a bell for you then perhaps Colt Cabana will!.

A good portion of the crowd cheered for Colt.

Trent Barreta: Colt is a Chameleon in this business... No matter where he's been, no matter where he's gone and no matter what color he's forced to change into, he always manages to blend in... Even with corporate jackasses calling him Scotty Goldman, this man has had a whole generation of wrestling fans seeing a face of wrestling we don't see often... But tonight I am not here to praise Colt, as he is my opponent tonight I might as well engage in a spicy little roast at his expense.

Trent chuckled a little.

Trent Barreta: Colt Cabana reminds me of Dr. Wily from... Yep! You guessed! The Mega Man Series! Crazy yet brilliant scientist creates 8 robot masters to take over the world... Mega Man foils his plans. He escapes jail, creates 8 robot masters to take over the world... Mega Man hands him the scraps of this robots and beats the crap out of him... Rinse... Repeat... Colt will never give up, apparently... Which is a good thing for him! What is bad is the fact I'm an expert in crazy mad men who reinvent themselves over and over again... I happen to quickly dispose of them after 20 minutes of pawnage... Yes with a P.

Trent looked at his reflection on the triforce belt.

Trent Barreta: Colt, Colt, Colt. I really hope you've rested the beating you got from Bully Ray... Don't worry I will get back to him as soon as I'm through with you! You can thank me later but! In all seriousness now Colt, you earned the right to face me, so let's just make it one for the ages! I just have one question... Colt calls his finisher Maneuver Colt 45. Now this really leads me to believe he wanted to do some game of words with his name and the gun... But it is quite obvious he hasn't held a real gun or a game with guns in his entire life! Why not be a Desert Eagle instead of a Colt 45.? The Eagle has got .50 caliber bullets just so you know... A Revolver, like the one Revolver Ocelot masterfully uses in the Metal Gear Solid Franchise would have also been a much nicer choice... Try thinking about it next time you reinvent yourself pal! Hopefully after our match tonight?

Trent dropped the mic and smiled as his brand new Mega Man theme blasted over the PA system. The scene slowly faded to black