Sunday, July 28, 2013

Multiplayer galore!

"Sacrifice huh? Don't give me no lectures on sacrifices... Everyone in this fucking business is always speaking about how they drove thousands of miles to learn to wrestle, they speak about sleeping in cars, working for sandwiches and whatnot. I've had enough... I am not embarrassed to say my mother used to drive me to wrestling practice because I was 15 when I chose this life style. I was 17 when I debuted, 19 when I had my first ever championship belt and 20 when I got the NYWC title..."




"Yeah, it's not the EBWF World Title we're talking about... It is the title of a minor promotion. I know there is no video of me winning it, no interviews, nothing... But that's not the worst part. Do you know what the worst part is? I never got to defend the title I worked so damn hard to earn in the first place... I had to give it away... I had to SACRIFICE my title in order to move on to the major leagues... Without even knowing if I was ever going to make it."



"I took a leap of faith... I jumped. And now you all saw how that has turned out... Now, don't take it the wrong way, if I had to go through it all again I would have still forfeited my NYWC Heavyweight championship... Because otherwise I would have probably never been part of EBWF... So a Sacrifice isn't as bad as it sounds, your martyrs."



"My EBWF tenure hasn't exactly been a walk in the park either. I've had my ups... I've had my downs... But somehow I always manage to get back on my feet... This time will be no different. Tonight if I fall off that ladder, as long as there's strength within my body I will get back up, set that sumbitch again and climb my way up... After all, It's been what I've been doing ever since arriving."



"Fear? A four letter word, which you can make as big or as small and insignificant as you want. I am not afraid of getting hurt... I am not afraid of the cold steel of the ladder against my body... After all, it is a feeling I am familiar with. Fear? I've experienced the fear of not knowing who your friends and enemies are... I've experienced the fear of having someone do something ugly to the woman you love when you are not looking... I've been backstabbed way too many times to feel fear of anything... Pain, wether physical or psychological means nothing now..."



"Right now I have nothing to lose... My career is going nowhere fast... One of my best friends is gone... King of the ring is nothing but a blimp on my rearview mirror... But tonight, after I unhook that briefcase hanging from the ceiling I will have another Sacrifice to make... Cashing in."


The lights of the arena dimmed slowly as the sound of a heartbeat echoed through the PA system before "Can You Feel My Heart" blasted throughout the arena. Smoke slowly raised from the ramp as a white light flickered on and off. From behind the curtain, a familiar face emerged. Trent? was high knee running as he stepped on top of the ramp and spread his arms for the audience... He wore his usual Zombie Abe Lincoln/Bill Murray black and Lime trousers, and a long black coat with a huge lime colored Question mark printed on the back of it. Trent? continued walking down the ramp and eventually got into the ring... A microphone in hand... The crowd got a positive reaction as he raised his arm, his finger aimed at the briefcase that hung above his head. He ran a hand along his black locks of hair, dragging them away from his face and nodded his head, bringing the microphone closer to his lips.

Trent?: Hey, long time no see EBWF Universe... Last time we met, I had the dream of becoming King of the Ring... I wanted to headline Summerslam... But now we all know how that turned out. Apparently, there is still a light of hope, a beacon if you wish... Beaming brightly above my head... The Money In the Bank briefcase. Perhaps the most wonderful bag since Felix the Cat's... Sure, Felix's bag could transform into a lot of stuff... But in case you haven't noticed... The Money in he Bank briefcase has quite a few tricks up it's sleeve!

Trent? Continued pointing at the briefcase.

Trent?: That briefcase can turn into a lot of positive things... For example, from the moment someone unhooks that briefcase and wields it... He gains massive amounts of respect, importance and admiration... If Used right... That respect, importance and admiration can turn into glory... AND IMMORTALITY.

Trent?'s hand descended slowly as he continued talking.

Trent?: If misused... The briefcase will bestow shame, misery and woe to the owner... Plus it will lose all of it's initial values forever. Sure, being "The Master of the briefcase" sounds tempting... But can you?  It won't be a walk in the park... When you become the Master of the briefcase, you are putting a huge target on your back... Everyone and their mom will be either waiting for the right moment to tempt you and get inside your head until you have no other choice but putting the briefcase on the line... Or plain attack you, for you are a threat... Are you up for it?

Trent? paced along the ring, back and forth.

Trent?: Alright... Let's suppose you are up for the challenge. You are up to being number 1 on the Shield's hit list... Still, you gotta ask yourself... Do you have what it takes to be Mr. Money in the bank? Are you going to successfully use the infinite potential of the briefcase? Or are you going to break the goose's golden egg? You might have answered that question all week long... You might've posted your videos on Vine, on EBWF.net, you might've gotten interviewed by Jimmy Fallon... Jimmy Kimmel... Jimmy Neutron... At the end of the day, the talking is done right here in this very ring, before the EBWF Universe!!!!!

The crowd roared.

Trent?: By now... You might have an idea of why I am here right? You know I can goof around and have fun... You know I enjoy spending time in the back playing videogames... For your entertainment value, I am not the only one who will battle to reach the briefcase... There are FIVE other EBWF superstars involved in this match... And before I go on I'd get some thing off my chest... People in the back always tend to belittle and mock me whenever they come out here, based on the fact I love videogames, comic books and... Well, nerdy stuff. Now I am going to quote our CEO Chris Jericho and call them all hypocrites... Coming into this match I talked to myself and said "I believe it is time to cut the crap, no more videogames...." But then I did a little research and found out several EBWF superstars enjoy their fair share of videogames now an again... Now before guys in the Money in the Bank Ladder match come out and "make fun" of me... I feel I have to shed some light on a few facts people might not be aware of: Let's see, I've played countless hours with AJ Styles... How about we have a look at Cody Rhodes' first ever ring gear?

The tron lit up to display a picture of Cody's first blue ring gear, with a very familiar logo on the boots.


Trent?: That logo does look very, very familiar... Cody Rhodes, the name just might send chills down your spine, might remind you of that hideous face, that horrible mask, that 'sticking bugs down your throat' malpractice he used to perform after his matches... Why would he ever wear a videogame logo? Isn't he deranged? Isn't he evil? Sadly for Cody Rhodes that Triforce logo isn't going to grant him courage, wisdom or strength to beat me. You know, you don't get these kind of shots every day... I've already said how fortunate I am to be in this match, but I felt even more fortunate when I knew Cody Rhodes was going to be in this match as well... I'm pretty sure Cody Rhodes isn't nearly as tough as he used to be without his mask... The one he used to headbutt me... It is time Mr. Rhodes meets Bill Murray. Real. Close.

Trent? smiled.

Trent?: We also have a hardcore full fledged gamer in this match... Someone I've never been able to compete against neither on a console, nor in this ring... But that changes tonight! He's going to need more than thumbs of Steel to beat me tonight.


The EBWFtron's image shifted to an image of a Young Chris Sabin, with his SNES next to the TV.



Trent?: Ever since he returned, I haven't talked to him much... But I do believe we might have a couple of things in common. Still, out of the 5 opponents in this match... Sabin is the probably the least likely to come out here and rant on me being a nerd. I'm actually kinda excited because for the first time ever... I can address my opponent in the language I know best, and he will understand every word of it... Sabin! You'll have to bring a whole load of 1up Mushrooms, Fire Flowers, Stealth Devices, Infinite Ammo Bandanas... Because you're going to need them! You and I we both have that "Little Mac", and I don't care how hard your Star Punches are, because when the Pokemon duel beings I'm going to be the Water to your fire, the Stone to your Electric Pokemon! You're on your last life, on your last continue tonight... And you haven't levelled up enough to match up against me! Tonight will be sicker, faster and deadlier than a Super Smash Bros Sudden Death Bawl, so you better buckle up, bring your cheat device and brace yourself!


The few gamer marks in attendance cheered at Trent?'s multiple videogame references... Sabin's image faded, and another image was shown up on the Tron now.


Trent?: This man is probably the most likely to come out here and call me a friendless virgin. In fact I'm sure he has stated he is against my 'gamer' lifestyle... Then again there you see him, huge hypocrite smile on his face, big cardboard with his face over his left shoulder, and Xbox over his right shoulder... The Miz might be "Too Awesome" to be a gamer, but he is down to pretend he likes games, as long as you end up buying his lousy T-shirts and chanting along his childish catchphrases. Luckily for him, this isn't about videogames... Oh, wait! This is about Wrestling... Eh, he's just cooked anyways! Now I'm pretty sure I am a better gamer than he could ever be... But tonight I get the chance to demonstrate how much of a better WRESTLER I am. Miz, I don't need you to come out here to tell me life Isn't a videogame... Do you see me coming out here telling you "Hey Miz, chill out! Life isn't a reality show where you are the star!". Let's get something straight, you are NOT my favorite Wrestler, and I clearly doubt Sting knows who the hell you are. Tonight won't be your night... No night will be your night as long as I am participating in the same match. Now THAT'S awesome.

The tron faded to black, for now as Trent? leaned against a nearby turnbuckle.

Trent?: Now, I went on with my videogame research... And I found out something that REALLY made me angry... I thought AJ Styles and I were friends... You know there's the urban myth I was his lucky charm during his Royal Rumble win. I don't know if I could still call someone like AJ styles my friend... Not because he's riding solo and wearing black... Not because he's attacking announcer... Not because he decided to become a Paul Heyman guy... Now, this video is a little old... But it perfectly illustrates my point! Roll footage!

(Scroll the video to 2:28 please!)

Trent?: You have a Sega Dreamcast? And a porable one at that? And you never ever told me? Wow... Dude... I never thought I'd say this but I am going to kick your ass so damn hard tonight because of that. Not only you have a FREAKIN' Sega Dreamcast! You can bring it down the road, which you don't! And you have the audacity to call yourself my friend? That's low... Lower than being a Paul Heyman Guy, Lower than teaming up with Ted DiBiase once again... Lower than ANYTHING you've ever done! So many gamers in this match... Some hide it like its a sin, others are pretender gamers... This is turning out to be quite a gamer's convention... And that briefcase up there would be what... Grand theft auto 4?

Trent? once again directed his eyes at the hanging briefcase.

Trent?: But not all people in this match enjoy videogames... There's one person who hasn't shown any signs of liking videogames... Maybe because button mashing can be quite hard when you have hooves instead of fingers, right Daniel? You probably don't like videogames, but the truth is I am going to do something you will hate more than videogames tonight... And that is kicking you right across your skull and knocking you out! That also goes for every other guy participating in this match. Gamer or not, pretender or not... You don't stand a chance against me. You all know you have nothing to do when I'm on my best day... I'd advice you to ask Randy Orton but I can feel your teeth gritting at the thought of getting in the ring with a Killer... You can Ask Cody Rhodes instead! Ask him what he had to do to defeat me! You know? I was used to being looked down and belittled... Because hey: I was just a kid, I was still green, I was a young buck... But it's been a couple of years since I've been here, and I think the memorable matches have been greater than the losses I've suffered... Something that caught my eyes was that: Last year I was in both an Elimination Chamber and a King of the Ring tournament with guys like Miz and AJ Styles, who always patted me on the back and told me "You'll be there... Someday". Those guys, who apparently were above me... I didn't see them winning the Elimination Chamber... I didn't see them winning the King of the Ring Tournament. Which leads me to ask a question: Are they really that far away from me? Luckily for me and for the EBWF Universe we will all have an answer to that question after tonight's match... When I plant a ladder in the center of this very ring and climb all the way up... There will be opponents, sure... But there will be no Curt Hawkins, No Maryses, No Bully Rays... I've sacrificed enough shots and opportunities as it is... The time has come for me to fulfill my role as Mr. Money in the Bank... Tonight I get the Briefcase... Then I get Ambrose!

The crowd cheered as Trent? raised both of his arms to point at the Briefcase as "Can You Feel my heart" Was heard once more... Trent remained there with his arms aimed at the sky, at his dream, as the scene faded to black.